Not all who wander are lost

Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination

It often helps to understand a persons background when hearing what they think. The routes we travel influence how we see the world. I hope that painting a clearer picture of the journey to where I am today (wherever that is) helps place some context on my writing.

So here is my story (in brief!) in hope that it provides some insights into my framing of the world.

To be or not to be (a doctor)

I grew up in the South East of England in the quiet seaside town of Bexhill-on-Sea. There was nothing to do there then, and there is still nothing to do there now. I went to comprehensive school, and both my primary school and college were fairly “rough and ready” (although my secondary school was uncharacteristically good for the area).

For most of my early life I had no ambitions of being a doctor. In fact, I initially wanted to be a graphic designer, and then a professional musician (I play the guitar reasonably well!). My parents persuaded me it would be useful to have A levels in case I later decided to do something different, and so I needed to decide which to choose.

My dad had been a doctor, although not practicing during my lifetime. Occupational health was one of his interests, and whilst I was alive he ran a business with my mum focussed on training large organisations to manage workforce stress. Dad still enjoyed watching medical documentaries, and I found them interesting. I also had a period of being unwell as a teenager, and had a truly amazing paediatrician. One day on the way back from hospital, it struck me how much better I felt after speaking to him. I thought about how every day when he went to work, he knew he was going to make people feel better. That seemed amazing to me.

With these things in the back of my mind I chose A levels that would enable me to study medicine if I decided to, and clearly I eventually did!

I reasoned that I could still play music if I was a doctor, but couldn’t be a hobbyist doctor if I were a musician.

Sadly my dad passed away from cancer whilst I was doing my A levels, and my exams were completely derailed. I ended up re-taking a year and having to reapply, but luckily ended up studying medicine at the University of Southampton.

I was a typical student and loved university. I did an additional “intercalated” degree in the middle of my studies in Biomedical Science (prompted mainly by a desire to have an extra year of playing football with my university friends), but this in part was what sparked my interest in research.

In fact, I became so interested in academia that I applied for an academic foundation training job in paediatrics after university, for which I was unsuccessful. This was a pretty big blow. However, instead I got a job in the beautiful town of Poole.

Life as a working medic

Poole hospital is a wonderful place to work. I lived on the top floor of the hospital with the other new doctors, and we spent the evenings consoling one-another on our most recent embarrassments. Despite this, I hated being a doctor. Being newly qualified was terrifying. The job is stressful and under-resourced. The expectations are enormous and you do not have the time (nor, initially the skills) to meet them. The hours can be gruelling.

In an education session during my first year, we were asked to write down our current preferred career paths. I wrote down “not clinical medicine”.

Off the back of this, I chose jobs for my second year of foundation training geared more towards public health (including general practice and microbiology). Fortunately, during this year I settled into clinical medicine as I grew in confidence, and through the wonderful microbiology job discovered my love of studying infectious diseases.

I did not go into specialty training straight away. I was newly married and loved the idea of spending some time in the antipodes. I managed to get a job in Perth, West Australia, and thanks to some connections from the UK was fortunate enough to get a post at the specialist children’s hospital (at the time, Princess Margaret Hospital, now Perth Children’s Hospital). The wonderful infectious disease team there took me under their wing, and offered me some research experience and supervision alongside my clinical jobs. I loved the research. I found it fascinating, and it had a huge positive impact on my clinical practice.

Whilst I was in Australia, I applied for an academic clinical training job in paediatrics back in the UK. I was so desperate for the job that I even flew home between a set of night shifts for 4 days in the UK to attend the interview! I was devastated to again be unsuccessful, and at this point began to question whether I was fighting a losing battle trying to get into academia.

Serendipity

Fortunately I was successful in my application to regular paediatric specialty training in the UK. I enjoyed it, although paediatrics is certainly very challenging as well as rewarding. It is high intensity and the hours are unforgiving, especially when you have young children of your own.

A paediatric infectious disease professor who I’d known from previously in the UK (and who had helped me get the job I wanted in Australia), was director of a research facility, and I received an email to say he had a fellowship job coming up. I contacted him about it and he said I should apply, offering to help support me to undertake a PhD as part of the fellowship. So I did. And this time, at last, I was successful!

I aimed to start a PhD in developing diagnostic methods for biofilm infections (don’t worry I will explain biofilms another time!), and applied for a prestigious doctoral fellowship with the National Institute of Health Research. I made it all the way to interview, but once again was unsuccessful (by now I was getting used to it!). I commenced the PhD anyway, but 6 months in, the pandemic struck.

Living the dream

I find it hard to explain how much I have enjoyed my job over the past few years, including before, and during, the pandemic. I have kept up my clinical hours by working evenings and weekends in the children’s emergency department, but have worked full-time Monday to Friday in research. It is challenging and rewarding, and there is so much to learn. You get to contribute directly to advancements which improve the lives and health of your patients, and it feels amazing.

Remarkably, I have ended up doing my dream PhD. The focus is mainly on clinical trials for Covid-19, including being lead fellow for the Cov-Boost study (the worlds largest clinical trial of Covid-19 booster vaccines) and a phase I study of a new vaccine against multiple different coronaviruses.

I won’t go into detail about all my work during the pandemic as much of this is written about elsewhere. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had a secure job during this period, let alone the privilege of contributing as much as I have to the global effort to respond to Covid-19.

Take away lessons

I recently gave a career speech for some school students aged 16 and 17, and afterwards opened the floor to questions. One of them asked me, “through all this, what is the most important thing you have learnt?”. I couldn’t really answer that, but there were 3 things I wanted to highlight.

Firstly, I was not the archetype who knew from aged 2¾ that he wanted to go into medicine and subspecialise in some esoteric niche. The idea to be doctor didn’t occur to me until late on, and I have my hesitancies along the way. Some of the best doctors I know have had lives prior to medicine and ended up where they are by pure luck.

It is never too late to change course, and some of the most wonderful destinations have the most interesting and indirect journeys.

Second, I have failed on many, many occasions to get the job I wanted. At the time I was gutted. In fact, if I had gotten any of those jobs, it would have changed my career path in a way which would have prevented me having the incredible opportunities of these past few years. Looking back, I realise how lucky I was that I ended up where I am now.

Failures are just a part of the journey. Sometimes, you will be lucky to have failed when you did. I certainly was.

Finally, many of my professional achievements look great, and I am proud of them. But I also have a young family at home.

I am totally dispensable to my work, and I am totally indispensable to my family.

As enthralling as a job may be, and as important or impressive as work might make you feel, you only get to experience this precious time with your loved ones once. They should come first. They always will.

So there you have it. My journey to where I am now (wherever that is!). My professional journey is far from over, and I am both excited and more than a little anxious to see where it takes me next.